Day 3

photo by mtyto

On the Menu:

1 quart lemon water with MSM

2 quarts watermelon/cucumber juice

2 quarts spinach/celery/apple/ginger juice

Detox helpers: skin brushing

Exercise: 60 minutes cardio

Day 1.. Yeah!

photo by Leo Reynolds

I love Day 1's! If it weren't for Day 1's there wouldn't be Day 2's or 10's or 92's, etc.

One day at a time, right?

I have been fighting a hanky cold (flu, whatever) and I said enough is enough. I need to take care of myself (and detox) yet again.

I haven't been loving myself and my body the way I should. I have been abusing myself (drinking alcohol, smoking, eating things I shouldn't) in such a fierce way.

I'm very embarrassed by it, but oh well. You live and learn.

How long do I plan to juice feast, I really and truly don't know, or care. I just want to feel better and have the energy I had a year ago. I want to feel alive again. And at the moment I feel dead.

On today's menu:

1 quart grapefruit, blood orange, lemon juice

1 quart grapefruit, lemon juice

2 quarts kale, celery, garlic, carrot, lemon, cayenne juice, 1T spirulina

Detox helpers: Afternoon enema, skin brushing, brushing fuzzy teeth

Exercise: N/A - will start again tomorrow

I don't know what to say

photo by Divine Domesticity

I'm speechless, not too good for a blog, right?

You can embrace me like a long lost love....or say "screw, you, you devious bastard for leaving your blog posts."

Either way is cool. I deserve whatever pain (or pleasure) you might want to inflict.

I haven't been doing much in my life but spinning my wheels. Oh, such is life.

I don't really want to discuss what I'm drinking, eating or not eating on a daily basis. If the mood strikes me I'll chat about it.

But mostly, I don't want to become obsessed with what I've consumed. If you think about it, it can be kind of boring.

I will mention, I'm not necessarily Livin' La Vida Raw, but I try.

I will also mention, I'm not happy with my health (physical and mental) at the moment but again, I try to work those things out as I see fit. Most days are better than some, no worse than all.

So I think I'm doing pretty good.

Smoothies for the day

2.5 quarts parsley, strawberries, orange, banana, spirulina, stevia

Day 2

photo by jmhanna

ON THE MENU (January 4, 2009)
1 quart lemon water with MSM
2 quarts cilantro, celery, cucumber, scallions, jalapeno juice, hemp oil, Spirulina, liquid iodine and kelp powder
1 quart grapefruit, orange juice, MSM
2 cups coconut water with Chlorophyll
1 cup Chamomile, Valerium and St. John's Wort tea with honey

Day 1 recap - Welcome to the Pity Party

photo by Sarah and Mike

ON THE MENU (January 3, 2009)

1 quart lemon water with MSM

2 quarts kale, celery, carrot, garlic juice, hemp oil, Spirulina, liquid iodine and kelp powder

1 quart pineapple, orange, MSM

2 cups coconut water with Chlorophyll

2 cups Chamomile, Valerium and Mint tea with honey

Day 1 of my juice feast was a bit shaky but nothing too dramatic. I had a sudden urge to eat the chips from my children's plates but I just stepped away and drank my juice.

I also had a dream that I ate a Greek Salad my husband brought home. I was so distraught with guilt until I realized he too was juice feasting and shouldn't have brought a salad home to eat.

Strange. But I was happy that it was only a dream.

My only real craving is a cigarette. A nasty habit I started again this year and gave up again a few times over the summer and last month.

I feel pretty sure that I won't start again. But, hey I felt sure that I wasn't going to ever eat cooked foods again and gain back the weight I lost, either. So much for feeling sure of oneself.

Okay, stop right there.

This comment is directed more at me than you, my dear reader.

But I think it's something I need to say.

Terilynn, knock it off.

You spent three months on a juice feast, you got healthy, you got happy, you got thin. You went off the juice feast, you ate raw, you had a egocentric attitude, you started eating cooked, you started drinking (alot), you became depressed, you wished you never got off the juice, you started smoking, you ate meats, you ate more food than you should, you gained weight (alot of weight). Okay, alright already you did all those things. So what!?!

It is time to forgive yourself. You are not a failure or loser. You are only human.

The past is over, so stop dwelling on it (I'm a "in-the-closet" dweller)

I give myself permission to stop belittling, abusing and making myself feel guilty over my past judgments.

photo by alfanhui

I give myself permission to love and respect myself.

Not, how I was or how I will be, but to love and respect myself at this very moment.

So, the only thing I will know for sure is "I am loved" now.

On the eve of my Juice Feast

photo by TIO

Well, here I am. Preparing for my juice feast. I'm quite happy at the moment. I've got my groceries and the supplements I'll be using ready.

I am glad to be going on another journey but I have mixed feelings about it.

On one hand, I kind of feel like the senior who didn't graduate and who has to start the year over.

And on the other hand, I feel this juice feast is like the excitement and thrill of having another child and I'm have to wait to see the outcome of the journey. I can't wait for the possibilities.

I don't know for sure how long I will be juice feasting and I could say I will pay closer attention to life after juice feasting. But in reality, I don't shit.

I just know I will do the best I can and fight the temptations that may arise and move on with life.

I was looking over the literature on juicefeasting.com and I have paid closer attention to the Hero's Journey. It fits right now in the direction my life is going.

I have been writing (screenplays) more and I am using the Hero's Journey as a guide. And it has been amazing. So I feel psyched that my personal juice feasting adventure can be in tuned with my writing.

Self-portrait - Jan. 1

Here is a picture I took about 1 minute after midnight in the new year. My eldest daughter snuck in on the shot.

Two more days until I start my juice feast. I've been thinking about that also. I want this time around to be a transition into a bit more of a liquitarian diet.

How Did I Let This Happen?...Ask Oprah

Long story, short. I'm a full-figured gal again. (But of course, you probably knew that. Why else would I have stayed away so long right?)

There, I said it. It's out there. I can profess to the world that (like Oprah) I was able to lose the weight and clean my system but I was unable to keep it off. This sort of thing happens, of course, I didn't think it would happen to me but it did and I move on.

Fortunately, I don't have a thyroid condition to prevent me from keeping it off, I just closed my eyes for too many days to the fact that I wasn't maintaining and I was gaining the weight back and losing my energy and my joy for life.

I feel angry, sick, frustrated, lost and any other emotion that is the opposite of happy and content with life.

Oh, yeah I feel like a f***ing failure and it was all my doing. I take full responsibility.

I had a plan to detox but I didn't have a clear idea (if any at all) as to what I was going to do it.

Sure I made that nifty YouTube video on what I was and wasn't going to eat (which of course I started eating again and then some) but I didn't think about the steps to take to make it possible.

As Whitesnake would say "Here I Go again." I'm starting another juice feast on January 3rd. The Global Juice Feast seemed a good opportunity. It's something I have been thinking about this for awhile.

Wondering if I am fooling myself or harming my physical body and my emotional state, going back and forth.

Whether or not to juice feast? My head was embarrassed but my heart told me to go for it and see where it takes me. Juice Feasting was one of the best times (even with the roller coaster emotions) I have ever had in my life so it would make sense that I want to experience it again.

I don't know how long I will go. I am thinking I would like to do it to reach a goal weight (I didn't make it last time, although I came close).

Some differences this time around:

I will weigh myself every now and then. (maybe once a month)

I won't necessarily blog about it everyday.

I will write more in my personal journal instead of the blog. No worries, if I have something especially deep, I will share.

Food won't be a focus. The last time I continued posting recipes at the Daily Ray Cafe. This time not so much. When I juiced feast...food really was the last thing I wanted to think about. So this time around I won't torture myself. I guess no rawlucks for me.

I will work on a plan on what I will eat and how to make it possible to stick to a plan that I can work with and it works for my cooked-eating family. I know now, it may not be a realistic solution to eat only raw in the situation I live in. Or maybe it is I have to find a way. I don't know.

I hope you will join me on this journey again. Let's see where 2009 will take us, shall we?